Easel Draft at Hamilton School
Photo by Amy LV
Students - Last week, I was very lucky to visit Alexander Hamilton School in Glen Rock, New Jersey. As part of my visit to NJ, I took the train to see our daughter Hope at college in New York City. On that trip, the moment you read about in today's poem....really happened. So of course I wrote about it in my notebook.
Then I wrote about it in front of students at Hamilton School on the easel above. And I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Certain scenes are like this - they stay in your head, stuck like peanut butter to the roof of your mouth. Something so beautiful, peaceful, frightening, fascinating...wants to live on. Writing helps us hold such scenes close. Writing gives us our lives back again.
Cesare Pavese wrote, "We do not remember days, we remember moments." It's true.
Today it is my pleasure to welcome my friend Shirley Thacker, a wonderful teacher friend who studied with the Indiana Writing Project and taught primary students for 42 years. A believer in writing and in building "communities of respectful brothers and sisters who accept all people and their strengths and weaknesses," Shirley joins us today to share how she writes poetry with second through fifth grade students after school and in summer Comp Camps at Wes-Del Elementary in Gaston, Indiana. Shirley says, "Sharing is key...this is why I write. I want someone to listen." Welcome, Shirley and welcome, young writers!
I believe there has to be a reading/writing connection. If you read like a writer and write like a reader, your life is forever changed. So that being said, I give a couple of weeks of choice writing while we immerse ourselves in reading in the genre we will write next. Then when our new writing cycle starts, students will some background information to hold onto.
Before our poetry writing cycle, we have had a couple of weeks to look at poetry, reading a great variety of poems, so by the time we start writing poetry, we have learned some writing craft: onomatopoeia, just right word choice. bold nouns, vivid verbs, magic three, simile, metaphor, and more.
Day one of poetry, students are sitting on the carpet and I tell them we will be learning how to write poems. I invite them to watch a poem in the making. . . I am by the chart paper. I usually choose something they won't want to copy, a topic such as coffee or my dog, Yuri. They are watching me ponder and think. They know that to write, you have to choose something you know about.
"I think I will try Yuri. . .. I need a word bank to form the poem. I will write all the words that I can think of along the and down the right side of the chart paper. . . . "
Shirley's Poem Draft
(Click to Enlarge)
"Now I am ready to shape my poem. . . Let me think. . ..hmmm"
Yuri
by Mrs. Thacker
My little golden doodle,
Furry with beautiful eyes. . .
like Yuri Zhivago.!
Reddish-brown like dried pine needles.
Loved doggy school, . . TWICE!
Can sit, shake paw, and go down. . .
Naughty boy . . .
Chewed Bic razor! . . .
Off to animal hospital
lots of x-rays!
My little lap baby,
YURI!
After this demonstration, I invite students to "Have a go at it" . . . students go back with notebooks and have a no walk, no talk period of 10-15 min. . . while I write too! Then we can buddy up for help and suggestions or sharing.
The next day I write a poem on a chart or return to my first poem to show revision in a different color marker. I want the students to get the idea that revision is part of writing.
When they are peer editing/sharing , I might be conferencing, walking around listening to their poems. Students may publish or write new poems at any time. Sometimes students will want to read more to get ideas. The room looks like a newspaper office with everyone doing what they need to do! This is the best 45-60 min in our day.
Here are a few poems from students in last year's Comp Camp.
Rainstorm
by Chloe (grade 2)
BOOM
Splash, drip
The thunder growling
Lightning!
Flashing through the windows.
It's getting louder,
And LOUDER.
Then it stops.
The sun is out!
A RAINBOW!
BYE!
BYE!
See you later,
Rain
Pink
by Alaina (grade 3)
Pink is the color of...
A highlighter, my hair tie, my bed and blankets
Pink is the color of...
My shirts and pants, my notebook.
Pink is the color of...
Watermelon, jolly rancher, and sweatshirt.
Rainstorm
by Brock (grade 3)
I make people fright
I make them cry
I make puddles
I make sparks and electricity!
Chair
by Norah (grade 3)
I am a MAD chair!
Kids fall on me...
BAM!
Kids slam me,
Kids sit on me...
Huh, huh, huh!
Pay back time!!!
Mrs. Thacker
by Carter (grade 3)
Mrs. Thacker is the bomb!
Rad
So the best hugger.
The best storyteller
The best singer.
Awesome teacher!
Cool!!
Book Lover
Nice person
READER!
Darkness
by Callie (grade 5)
The sun is so dark
Darkness
I see a
Person. Oh wait, it's
A rock
Darkness
I hear a horse
Oh Wait,
It's Mr. Shaffer
Darkness,
I see the Darkest soul
Of them all!
Darkness,
Oh yes,
Darkness
Nature
by Ella (grade 5)
The wind was blowing through the trees,
The wind chimes sing a song with keys,
Around around everywhere we go.
Nature tells us something we don't know
Over there and over here
There's nothing ever to fear!
Summertime Storms
by Jennah (grade 5)
I don't have much fear
When storms are near
But when wind blows
My scared expression shows!
Crashes of thunder
Flashes some lightning
This weather is
My heart's everything
Hail starts to fall
From a sky full of gray
I wish I could
Be outside to play,
But Mom says," "NOT TODAY!"
Branches of trees
Scatter the ground
There are so many things
Making a sound
Not a tornado was in sight!
I'm really glad!
Didn't take flight
Storm has passed
It went by
Very FAST!
Orange
by Kasen (grade 3)
Orange is the color...
Morning and dawn.
Lawn in winter
Lava at the center of a volcano
Lots of things
On our beautiful earth!
Please Don't Go
by Malachi (grade 4)
Don't go bye bye
In front of my eyes.
Just don't die...
I love you KYE!
Please don't go
You stole my heart.
I know...
I will fall apart.
PLEASE DON'T GO!!!
Thank you so much, Shirley and poets, for joining us here at The Poem Farm today! It was a treat to have you here and to read your words.
I would also like to thank the amazing Donna Farrell, for her gorgeous work redesigning the look of The Poem Farm, Sharing Our Notebooks, and my website. I am incredibly grateful to her.
Please visit the latest post at my other blog, Sharing Our Notebooks and comment by Saturday, October 14 to win a copy of Caroline Starr Rose's latest book! She's sharing a poem AND a peek inside of her notebooks.
You can find more poems and poemlove over at Violet Nesdoly/poems as the warm and wise Violet is hosting this week's Poetry Friday roundup, where everyone is always welcome to read, comment, and link in with us!
Please share a comment below if you wish.
