Capturing Scenes & A Poetry Peek!

Easel Draft at Hamilton School

Photo by Amy LV

Students - Last week, I was very lucky to visit Alexander Hamilton School in Glen Rock, New Jersey.  As part of my visit to NJ, I took the train to see our daughter Hope at college in New York City.  On that trip, the moment you read about in today's poem....really happened.  So of course I wrote about it in my notebook.

Then I wrote about it in front of students at Hamilton School on the easel above.  And I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Certain scenes are like this - they stay in your head, stuck like peanut butter to the roof of your mouth.  Something so beautiful, peaceful, frightening, fascinating...wants to live on.  Writing helps us hold such scenes close.  Writing gives us our lives back again.  

Cesare Pavese wrote, "We do not remember days, we remember moments."  It's true.

Today it is my pleasure to welcome my friend Shirley Thacker, a wonderful teacher friend who studied with the Indiana Writing Project and taught primary students for 42 years.  A believer in writing and in building "communities of respectful brothers and sisters who accept all people and their strengths and weaknesses," Shirley joins us today to share how she writes poetry with second through fifth grade students after school and in summer Comp Camps at Wes-Del Elementary in Gaston, Indiana.  Shirley says, "Sharing is key...this is why I write. I want someone to listen."  Welcome, Shirley and welcome, young writers!

I believe there has to be a reading/writing connection.  If you read like a writer and write like a reader, your life is forever changed.  So that being said, I give a couple of weeks of choice writing while we immerse ourselves in reading in the genre we will write next.  Then when our new writing cycle starts, students will some background information to hold onto.

Before our poetry writing cycle, we have had a couple of weeks to look at poetry, reading a great variety of poems, so by the time we start writing poetry, we have learned some writing craft: onomatopoeia, just right word choice. bold nouns, vivid verbs, magic three, simile, metaphor, and more. 

Day one of poetry, students are sitting on the carpet and I tell them we will be learning how to write poems.  I invite them to watch a poem in the making. . . I am by the chart paper.  I usually choose something they won't want to copy, a topic such as coffee or my dog, Yuri.  They are watching me ponder and think.  They know that to write, you have to choose something you know about.

"I think I will try Yuri. .  .. I need a word bank to form the poem. I will write all the words that I can think of along the and down the right side of the chart paper. . . . "

Shirley's Poem Draft

(Click to Enlarge)

"Now I am ready to shape my poem. . .  Let me think. . ..hmmm"

Yuri 

by Mrs. Thacker

My little golden doodle,

Furry with beautiful eyes. . . 

like Yuri Zhivago.!

Reddish-brown like dried  pine needles.

Loved doggy school,  . . TWICE!

Can sit, shake paw, and go down. . . 

Naughty boy . .  .

Chewed Bic razor! . . .

Off to animal hospital 

lots of x-rays!  

My little lap baby,

YURI!

After this demonstration, I invite students to "Have a go at it"  . . . students go back with notebooks and have a no walk, no talk period of 10-15 min. . . while I write too!  Then we can buddy up for help and suggestions or sharing.

The next day I write a poem on a chart or return to my first poem to show revision in a different color marker. I want the students to get the idea that revision is part of writing.

When they are peer editing/sharing , I might be conferencing, walking around listening to their poems.  Students may publish or write new poems at any time.  Sometimes students will want to read more to get ideas. The room looks like a newspaper office with everyone doing what they need to do! This is the best 45-60 min in our day.

Here are a few poems from students in last year's Comp Camp.

Rainstorm

by Chloe (grade 2)

BOOM

Splash, drip

The thunder growling

Lightning!

Flashing through the windows.

It's getting louder,

And LOUDER.

Then it stops.

The sun is out!

A RAINBOW!
BYE!

See you later, 

Rain

Pink 

by Alaina (grade 3)

Pink is the color of...

A highlighter, my hair tie, my bed and blankets

Pink is the color of...

My shirts and pants, my notebook.

Pink is the color of...

Watermelon, jolly rancher, and sweatshirt.

Rainstorm

by Brock (grade 3)

I make people fright

I make them cry

I make puddles

I make sparks and electricity!

Chair

by Norah (grade 3)

I am a MAD chair!

Kids fall on me...

BAM!

Kids slam me,

Kids sit on me...

Huh, huh, huh!

Pay back time!!!

Mrs. Thacker

by Carter (grade 3)

Mrs. Thacker is the bomb!

Rad

So the best hugger.

The best storyteller

The best singer.

Awesome teacher!

Cool!!

Book Lover

Nice person

READER!

Darkness

by Callie (grade 5)

The sun is so dark

Darkness

I see a

Person. Oh wait, it's

A rock

Darkness

I hear a horse

Oh Wait, 

It's Mr. Shaffer

Darkness, 

I see the Darkest soul

Of them all!

Darkness,

Oh yes,

Darkness

Nature

by Ella (grade 5)

The wind was blowing through the trees,

The wind chimes sing a song with keys,

Around around everywhere we go.

Nature tells us something we don't know

Over there and over here

There's nothing ever to fear!

Summertime Storms

by Jennah (grade 5)

I don't have much fear

When storms are near

But when wind blows

My scared expression shows!

Crashes of thunder

Flashes some lightning

This weather is

My heart's everything

Hail starts to fall

From a sky full of gray

I wish I could

Be outside to play,

But Mom says," "NOT TODAY!"

Branches of trees 

Scatter the ground

There are so many things

Making a sound

Not a tornado was in sight!

I'm really glad!

Didn't take flight

Storm has passed

It went by

Very FAST!

Orange 

by Kasen (grade 3)

Orange is the color...

Morning and dawn.

Lawn in winter

Lava at the center of a volcano

Lots of things

On our beautiful earth!

Please Don't Go

by Malachi (grade 4)

Don't go bye bye

In front of my eyes.

Just don't die...

I love you KYE!

Please don't go

You stole my heart.

I know...

I will fall apart.

PLEASE DON'T GO!!!

Thank you so much, Shirley and poets, for joining us here at The Poem Farm today! It was a treat to have you here and to read your words.

I would also like to thank the amazing Donna Farrell, for her gorgeous work redesigning the look of The Poem Farm, Sharing Our Notebooks, and my website.  I am incredibly grateful to her.

Please visit the latest post at my other blog, Sharing Our Notebooks and comment by Saturday, October 14 to win a copy of Caroline Starr Rose's latest book!  She's sharing a poem AND a peek inside of her notebooks.

You can find more poems and poemlove over at Violet Nesdoly/poems as the warm and wise Violet is hosting this week's Poetry Friday roundup, where everyone is always welcome to read, comment, and link in with us!

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