Silver Button Moon for Everyone
by Amy LV
Students - Ah, the moon! She guides all of us, no matter where we are. And many young children can count moon among their very first words. Of course they can. In a deep, dark sky, Moon shows us the way. The way she looks changes, and on clear nights, we can always find her. On bright moonlit nights, we do not even need a lantern or flashlight to find our way.
Many people look up at the moon and think about things: faraway friends and family, beauty, quiet secret thoughts. When we look at Moon and think, we are finding our way in a different way. She is for all of us, and so this poem is for Moon.
One decision I made while writing these lines was to write in the first person plural or we voice. My first draft of the poem was written in second person singular, speaking to you, not about we and us. Line 1 sounded like this:
The moon will always call you home.
instead of...
The moon will always call us home.
Try reading this whole poem to yourself substituting the word you each time you see we or us. What do you notice?
As I read the poem that way to myself, I realized that I - the speaker - wanted to share this experience with the reader. We all share the moon, and so this poem wanted to be more of a community (we) poem and less of a singular person (you) poem.
Choosing a point of view is an important job of a writer. I ask myself, "Do I want this poem to be ABOUT something, TO something, AS something, or WITH something?" This time, I chose WITH.
Today's poem is written in a particular form called a triolet. You will note that it has 8 lines and lots of repetition. In a triolet, lines 1, 4, and 7 are the same. Lines 2 and 8 are the same. And the rhyme scheme goes like this: A B a A a b A B. In poetry language, this means that lines 1, 3, 4, 5, and 7 end with the same rhyming sound as do lines 6 and 8. Notice the matching capital letters for the lines which match each other.
It is true that the word whole does not rhyme with the words home and roam. However, it is a near rhyme, and because making sense matters more to me than rhyming, I went with it.
If you are interested, here are a few other triolets from past Poem Farm posts:
Wintertimes - December 20, 2019
Triolet for a Stone - May 24, 2019
I do not always write in special forms, but sometimes I enjoy the fun of it. Forms feel like puzzles.
Irene is hosting today's Poetry Friday roundup at Live Your Poem with Pablo Neruda's "Ode to Autumn," her own "Autumn puzzle," and an announcement about a new class Irene will teach titled Wild and Precious Writer. Please know that all are welcome each Friday as folks share poems, poem books, poetry ideas, and friendship.
xo,
Amy
Please share a comment below if you wish.
I won't stop loving moon poems & I love your "reflection" about our wonderful moon, Amy, and the idea of sharing by changing the wording. Have a marvelous Friday, into the weekend!
ReplyDeleteI like how you highlighted the difference that switching from third person made, and the idea of first person plural as creating a sense of community or shared experience in the poem. Thanks for sharing this today!
ReplyDeleteHer voice is light - and so is yours. Thank you, dear Amy. xo
ReplyDeleteI so love the moon--thank you for this beautiful triolet ode!
ReplyDeleteI physically relaxed as I read this. Light and true.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amy! You are always an inspiration. I'm working on a manuscript that is a series of small poems about the moon which has always been an object of fascination to me.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful, Amy. I never considered how the moon might view us, but of course she "will always call us home." Thank you for reminding me about the importance of shifting perspective!
ReplyDeleteThe teaching points here alongside your marvelous mentor text gives me my next writing lesson with my students. Thanks for always being the teacher-poet.
ReplyDeleteI really like your reframing of how to think about POV. I'm going to share it with my students. And I love "bold, cold, and true." Perfect!
ReplyDeleteThank you, as always, for sharing your process notes! I love moon poems. Someday I want to write one (like yours) that says something new or surprising about the moon.
ReplyDeleteAmy, thanks for the teaching about the perspective. I really appreciated the question you ask about whether you want to write: "ABOUT something, TO something, AS something, or WITH something" -- that is helpful. I like the WITH here better than your former TO.
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